I Gave Feedback to Your Boss…Oh! You’re Welcome!

If you would prefer to read this content instead of watching the video, the transcript is available below.

We gave a little feedback to your boss…Oh! You’re welcome!

Hi there, leaders. My name is General Robert Van Antwerp, a retired three-star general from the Army.

Today I want to share with you a talk by our national director of coaching and development, Chris White. Chris is a New York Times best-selling author of The Flip Side. And in this talk, he shares why he gave feedback to your boss. Enjoy this talk. I’ll be back with you in a few minutes.

Well okay, maybe it wasn’t YOUR boss, but I can tell you I’ve given feedback to thousands of bosses over the last 16 years. Let me tell you some of challenges I face.

Sometimes, I’m sitting there telling someone something that’s so obvious. I mean, it is not rocket science. And they’re being defensive and dismissive. You know what goes through my head? Why am I the first person to say this? What is everybody’s problem? Does no one else know or live with this person?

I’m sure many of you and many other family would defend themselves and say, “It’s a lot harder than you think.” and I would say, “I agree. I’m experiencing that now.” But at some point, we’ve got to be able to help the people closest to us, right? So make sure you’re someone that can do that. Even if you have a significant other, a higher-up, a peer, or director of the board for that matter, I want to make sure that you’re not someone that overly avoids that tougher conversation. Our takeaway for today is very simple.

Think about something you may be sitting on. That you may have been sitting on for too long that you may need to say to someone.

But, let me be clear. Your assignment today is NOT to go give them some feedback right after you watch the video. That’s probably forcing it. You may not be ready or they may not be ready. But at least reflect on that because there could be something in there that you probably have been holding back too long.

Let me give you a very simple assignment that won’t backfire. What if you were more on the lookout for people that are able to have that directness?

Think of others that work with senior people around you, whether it’s senior people in your family, or senior people at work, or even just intimidating personalities in general. Think of and watch what they do. Think about how they don’t get caught up too much in the emotion of they agreed or they disagreed. Or they didn’t validate my entire point. Or they seem to always cross-examine or they seem to get a little bit louder. Notice how some people, they don’t get caught up in that. And I want to be more like that.

I was watching a colleague recently do that and I thought, “Wow!” It actually inspired me in a confrontation I had literally today, to do that even better, where I wasn’t as consumed with did they agree with me, I was more just having fun in the discussion itself. Because that may be the timing and the processing they need before they can come around. Or maybe I’ve got some things I can learn myself. I know we all do.

Well I hope you enjoyed Chris’ talk called, “I Gave Feedback To Your Boss, You’re Welcome!” If you found this talk helpful, please do us a favor.

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